Elio — Movie Review

When a boy named Elio Solis (Yonas Kibreab) discovers the Voyager Golden Record at a space exhibit, a wild idea occurs to him: maybe aliens exist.

Elio is a sad and lonely boy. His parents have died, and he now lives with his Aunt Olga (Zoe Saldaña). But she doesn’t seem to want him around. She is always busy, always scolding him, and worst of all, she is sending him to a youth camp.

Elio just wants to belong somewhere. Somewhere he is needed or wanted. He believes that place might be far from Earth. That is why he dreams of being abducted by aliens.

Then, one day, it actually happens.

Because of the Golden Record and a signal sent from Earth, a group of aliens arrives and abducts Elio. The problem is, they mistake him for the leader of the planet.

The aliens want Elio to represent Earth in the Communiverse, a council of alien civilizations. But first, he has to prove himself. Afraid of going back to his old life, Elio plays along. He must now convince Lord Grigon (Brad Garrett), one of the most powerful creatures in the universe, not to destroy the Communiverse just because they rejected him.

Along the way, Elio meets Glordon (Remy Edgerly), Lord Grigon’s son. Glordon is cheerful and carefree. He is nothing like his father, who is obsessed with blasters, power, and destruction. Glordon does not want to hurt anyone, but he is scared to stand up to his father.

Elio and Glordon form an unlikely friendship, a friendship that could change the future of the universe and both of their lives forever.

The Beekeeper: Movie Review

When you watch Jason Statham movies, you can always count on him to wear a jacket and a cap and punch some bad guys in the face. He beat up hired guns in Expendables 4 last year. A few years before that, he beat up thieves in Wrath of Man. In The Beekeeper, he fights a global scamming agency and white-collar crooks led by an asshole Josh Hutcherson.

Statham plays Adam Clay, a beekeeper. The film opens with him talking to a kind woman named Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad). Eloise is the owner of the bee farm where he works; she also handles the finances of some charities on the side. Clay thanks Eloise for taking care of him. We'll never find out what that means, but things then become quite dumb. Eloise lost all her savings and the money from the charities to a group of swindlers. But instead of calling the police, she took her own life. The film never establishes that Eloise is suicidal or depressed. Hence, her death feels a bit crass and a total cheap move by David Ayer to give Adam some kind of motivation.

Like a true justified action hero, Adam didn't waste any time going to work to find the scammers. Apparently, he's a former agent for a secret group called Beekeepers. And with his connections, he managed to find the scammers location and burn it down to the ground, much to the chagrin of the company's president, Derek Danforth (Josh Hutcherson), and his security slash advisor, Wallace Westwyld (Jeremy Irons). He then warns them that they're next. 

Adam's violent ways also caught the attention of Eloise's daughter, FBI Agent Verona Parker (Emmy Raver-Lampman), who disapproves of his method. But this plot has zero effect on where things are going. It never developed into something exciting or important.

The whole movie feels so half-baked. It feels like there's still a lot about it that's left unsaid. It also didn't help that the script was terrible. But Jason Statham's effort to make it work is admirable. He does everything here. He gets into some hand-to-hand combat. He gets into loads of gunfights. He gets into a knife fight. He even got to say some bee puns. He's basically like John Wick, minus the sophistication of Keanu Reeves.

The Beekeeper is formulaic, but it works in a way since the people involved in it kind of accepted its silliness. While I'm not sure if this movie fits in the "so bad that it's good" tier, I believe it comes pretty close.

2.5/5

Next Goal Wins: Movie Review

Taika Waititi must’ve found something humorous about the determination of the Football Federation of American Samoa. Even when they disgustingly lost 31-0 to Australia and never scored a goal in the next 10 years, they still played the game.

It’s not a secret that a lot of people think the American Samoa national football team stinks. Even their own players think they stink. Well, it is all because no one really ever taught them the game of football properly. So maybe, with a new coach, they’ll get to play the game the right way and hopefully end their scoring drought.

It is bad enough that they cannot win even if their lives depend on it, but somehow it got a lot worse when the alcoholic Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender) got assigned to be their head coach. He coached national teams before but got such a bad reputation in games for his anger issues that the U.S. Soccer Federation President, Alex Magnussen (Will Arnett), and his ex-wife, Gail (Elisabeth Moss), had to expel him to American Samoa.

But Thomas is so wrapped up in his own mad world that he fails to connect with his new team. He disrespected their traditions. He disrespected their laws. He disrespected their team captain, Jaiyah Saelua (Kaimana). Despite the best efforts of the manager of the American Samoa team, Tavita Taumua (Oscar Kightley), they can’t seem to get along with him.

But over the next few weeks, Thomas could no longer ignore the perseverance of such a losing squad to play the game. They’re not competitive. They’re not fit. Yet, they show up for practice and work multiple jobs to keep the team alive.

Thomas eventually feels that the team needs him, and they’re not really asking him that much. All they want is for him to help them score a goal. Not to win. But to score a single goal.

The Princess: Movie Review

A princess, a wedding, and a castle — the perfect formula for a sweet fairy tale. But nothing is sweet in this story.

The princess (Joey King) of our story is chained up on her bed, and before she can process what is happening, two soldiers barge into her chambers. It is clear that they want to molest her, but she will not go down easily. With a few clever tricks, she manages to dispatch her foes. As it turns out, this princess is unlike any other. She’s strong and smart, and she will fight.

The whole castle is under the control of her cruel betrothed, Julius (Dominic Cooper). And he has one order for his men: capture the princess so he can force her to marry him. In that way, he will be king. Of course, his plans come with assurance. Julius holds the royal family hostage, and if the princess disagrees, their lives will be the consequence.

But the princess will not surrender quickly. Her trainer, Linh (Veronica Ngô), didn't teach her martial arts just to yield so easily to her adversaries.

Wendell & Wild: Movie Review

Kat Elliot (Lyric Ross) is a green-haired juvenile delinquent who lost her parents in a terrible car accident. Five years passed after this mishap, and she still beats and blames herself for their deaths. If only she hadn’t screamed, they would still be alive. Due to the trauma, she builds her own wall. Now she’s always mean, bitter, and angry. She starts to believe that anyone close to her will die, so she stops considering anyone as her friend and pushes them away.

Her unruly behavior instigated her transfer to Rust Bank's all-girls Catholic school, where she will be "reformed" according to the wicked priest who runs it, Father Bests (James Hong). Kat knows that there’s more to his intentions, but that’s not her problem.

Her problem is the school’s trio of determined it-girls, Siobhan (Tamara Smart), Sloane (Seema Virdi), and Sweetie (Ramona Young), who pester her. Sister Helly (Angela Bassett) and Raúl (Sam Zelaya) want to help her and be her friend, but that itself is a botheration. Her greatest dilemma turns out to be the marking on her hand resembling a skull as it connects her to two demon brothers, Wendell (Keegan-Michael Key) and Wild (Jordan Peele).

Wendell and Wild live in a prison inside the nose of the monstrous demon, Buffalo Belzer (Ving Rhames). They spend most of their time putting rejuvenating hair cream on Belzer’s head, but their true desire is to build and manage their own amusement park. Since they couldn't make it in the underworld, they tricked the unsuspecting Kat into summoning them in the real world. In exchange, they will bring her dead parents back to life.

As expected, things didn’t turn out as Kat wanted. Wendell and Wild cannot "really" bring the dead back to life, and everything they said to her is a lie. Now she must stop them before they join forces with Father Bests and make a deal with corrupt politicians to carry out their plan at the expense of the whole town.

Katips: Movie Review

"Katips" opens with an interaction between a young man (Jerome Ponce) and a guide named Lira (Sachzna Laparan). Set in a museum dedicated to Martial Law victims, the two bond over the historical importance of the event to the current time. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, a mysterious old man recalls his time as an activist when President Marcos was in power.

In the year 1970, members of various student organizations hosted a picket rally to denounce the incumbent Philippine President Marcos. This group of political activists calls themselves "Katips" (a derivation from the word "Katipunan" or "Katipunero"). They consist of student leader Greg (Jerome Ponce), writer Panyong (Vince Tañada), the generous Alet (Adelle Ibarrientos), freshman Art (Johnrey Rivas), labor leader Estong (Joshua Bulot), and the outspoken Susie (Vean Olmedo). Accompanying them are Sister Claire (Dexter Doria) and Sister Josie (Patricia Ismael). During their peaceful protest, militants from the Metropolitan Command, headed by Lt. Sales (Mon Confiado), arrested and killed Ka Manding (Nelson Mendoza), the leader of the rallyists. This instigated a deep conflict between the police forces and the demonstrators.

Some time passed, and Martial Law was enacted in the country. Ka Manding’s daughter, Lara (Nicole Laurel Asensio), arrived from the US, and she stayed with Greg, Panyong, and Alet at a hideout for Katips. During their stay together, and despite having different views about the country, Greg and Lara fell in love.

But these fleeting moments will end soon now that Martial Law is in effect. Lt. Sales and his minions return to kidnap members of the Katips and torture them one-by-one for their act of rebellion.

Child of Kamiari Month: Movie Review

Netflix's new anime movie is a heartfelt story of grief and joy, directed by Takana Shirai.

"Child of Kamiari Month" opens by introducing Kanna (Aju Makita), a young girl with an irrational hatred and fear of running. It turns out that when she was young, she always ran with her mother, Yayoi (Ko Shibasaki). But since her death, she can’t bring herself to do it anymore.

Every October, thousands of gods leave their places of residence to gather in the Izumo region to have a conference. During this month, an Idaten needs to gather all the chiso across Japan to deliver them to the Izumo Shrine. Kanna’s mother was an Idaten, and since she’s gone, it’s up to Kanna to fulfill her destiny.

She’s hesitant at first. But after finding out that the gods could help her see her mother again, she ultimately agreed. With the help of Yato (Miyu Irino), a demon, and Shiro (Maaya Sakamoto), a rabbit, she goes on a fantastical journey full of challenges and bizarre creatures.

The Tragedy of Macbeth

Joel Coen goes solo in this adaptation of one of Shakespeare's most renowned plays.

"The Tragedy of Macbeth" begins with Macbeth (Denzel Washington) and Banquo (Bertie Carvel) meeting three witches (Kathryn Hunter) on the battlefield. The trio have a prophecy for the two. Macbeth will soon be promoted from Thane of Glamis to Cawdor and will eventually become King. Banquo, on the other hand, will soon father a line of kings.

Macbeth was initially skeptical of the witches' claims, as the Thane of Cawdor is currently healthy and strong. But it surprises him to find out that King Duncan orders Ross (Alex Hassell) to behead the Thane of Cawdor for treason and reinvest the title in Macbeth. Bringing the first prophecy to fruition.

Macbeth immediately informs his wife, Lady Macbeth (Frances McDormand), of the prophecy, which prompts her to come up with a plan to assassinate King Duncan (Brendan Gleeson). She tells Macbeth everything about her murderous scheme, which Macbeth follows through on after hesitating at first.

Now that the king is dead, it is time for Macbeth to fulfill the second prophecy. However, there are still certain people who stand in his way, including the King's sons, Malcolm (Harry Melling) and Donalbain (Matt Helm), the Thane of Fife, Macduff (Corey Hawkins), and Banquo, who is also his good friend and confidant.

Don't Look Up

Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence are astronomers out to save the world in Adam McKay’s satirical sci-fi film.

"Don't Look Up" begins by introducing the two low-level astronomers, Dr. Randall Mindy (DiCaprio) and PhD candidate Kate Dibiasky (Lawrence), who discovered a mountain-sized comet, and Dr. Teddy Oglethrope (Rob Morgan), chief of the Planetary Defense Coordination Office from NASA.

They quickly meet with President Janie Orlean (Meryl Streep) and her Chief of Staff Jason Orlean (Jonah Hill) to discuss plans of diverting the comet’s trajectory to avoid total human extinction. They were disappointed, however, when President Orlean received their news with apathy.

Obviously, in a reasonable world, stopping a disaster like this should be at the top of any government’s priority list. However in this reality, the authorities couldn't care less about what astronomers discovered in space. They downplayed their threat, even mocked it. But, like any good politician, President Orlean ended the conversation by telling them what they wanted to hear: 

“I’m taking it very seriously. I’m taking it straight to the heart.” 

She wasn't.

The Garden of Words

Before the groundbreaking 2016 film, "Your Name". Makoto Shinkai directed this movie about two individuals who forms a bond over the rainy season in Japan.

Every time it rains, 15-year-old Takao Akizuki (Miyu Irino) skips his class to stay in the garden at Shinjuku Gyoen. As the rain pours, the boy spends his time designing shoes.

One day, Takao meets an enigmatic girl staying in the same garden. The girl is Yukari Yukino (Kana Hanazawa), a 27-year-old teacher who is skipping work.

The two continue to meet and bond every time it rains in the same place. Despite Takao's cluelessness about Yukari's personal life, he promises that he will someday make her a pair of shoes. Yukari agrees, but by the end of the rainy season, Takao stops visiting.

Maria — Movie Review

When her supposedly happy life is disturbed by her past, she must channel the killer within her to avenge the life they took from her.

The story follows Lily (Cristine Reyes), who decides to leave her employer by faking her death in order to live a simpler life. She changed her name to Maria and began a new life with her husband, Bert (Guji Lorenzana), and their daughter, Min-Min (Johanna Rish Tongcua).

However, Maria's ex-partner, Kaleb (Germaine de Leon), spotted her while on a mission to dispatch a politician. He was so enraged by Maria's lie that he wasted no time in wreaking havoc on her life, beginning with the murder of her husband and only child.

Maria is very upset that her family died, so she asks her mentor, Greg (Ronnie Lazaro), for help in getting revenge for them.