Migration: Movie Review

It feels like 2023 is a year of breakthroughs in animation. There were so many good animated movies released last year, like TMNT: Mutant Mayhem and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. Both of which defied the boundaries of the genre. But while everyone is pushing the envelope of what animation can do, we get movies like Illumination’s Migration, which is content just to be part of the flock.

Migration is about the Mallard family and their first migration from New England to Jamaica. The head of the family is the always-anxious Mack Mallard (Kumail Nanjiani), who loathes the idea of ever leaving their home. But he decided to migrate anyway after his always optimistic wife, Pam (Elizabeth Banks), and his always dopey uncle, Grand Dan (Danny DeVito), convinced him.

Upon their arrival in New York City, the film immediately shows us the impact of modernity on animals. They almost hit a crane, a car, a building, and a billboard. Their journey was impeded by this so-called progress, and now they're lost.

The Mallard family then meets a pigeon named Chump (Awkwafina). Chump shows them around the city and introduces them to Delroy (Keegan-Michael Key), a Jamaican-accented parrot. Delroy knows the way to Jamaica, but they must free him first from the clutches of an evil chef so he can help them out.

From there, it feels like we're at an impasse with the story. With no grand message about the human-animal relationship, the story heads nowhere. The overall message about family lacks the genuineness to make an everlasting impact. The only good thing that remains in the end is the voice work of Caspar Jennings, who played Dax Mallard, and Tresi Gazal, who played Gwen Mallard, and their funny banter with each other.

Migration never turns into the movie that director Benjamin Renner wants it to be. It awfully still feels like an Illumination comedy that relies on zaniness over emotions, story, and relevance.

It also didn't bring anything new to the table. The movie is a typical animated family movie meant to entertain kids and amuse adults. It's not even smart or fab. It has no splash. It's happy to just float along the ocean as the waves of bigger and better animated movies keep coming along.

2/5

The Beekeeper: Movie Review

When you watch Jason Statham movies, you can always count on him to wear a jacket and a cap and punch some bad guys in the face. He beat up hired guns in Expendables 4 last year. A few years before that, he beat up thieves in Wrath of Man. In The Beekeeper, he fights a global scamming agency and white-collar crooks led by an asshole Josh Hutcherson.

Statham plays Adam Clay, a beekeeper. The film opens with him talking to a kind woman named Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad). Eloise is the owner of the bee farm where he works; she also handles the finances of some charities on the side. Clay thanks Eloise for taking care of him. We'll never find out what that means, but things then become quite dumb. Eloise lost all her savings and the money from the charities to a group of swindlers. But instead of calling the police, she took her own life. The film never establishes that Eloise is suicidal or depressed. Hence, her death feels a bit crass and a total cheap move by David Ayer to give Adam some kind of motivation.

Like a true justified action hero, Adam didn't waste any time going to work to find the scammers. Apparently, he's a former agent for a secret group called Beekeepers. And with his connections, he managed to find the scammers location and burn it down to the ground, much to the chagrin of the company's president, Derek Danforth (Josh Hutcherson), and his security slash advisor, Wallace Westwyld (Jeremy Irons). He then warns them that they're next. 

Adam's violent ways also caught the attention of Eloise's daughter, FBI Agent Verona Parker (Emmy Raver-Lampman), who disapproves of his method. But this plot has zero effect on where things are going. It never developed into something exciting or important.

The whole movie feels so half-baked. It feels like there's still a lot about it that's left unsaid. It also didn't help that the script was terrible. But Jason Statham's effort to make it work is admirable. He does everything here. He gets into some hand-to-hand combat. He gets into loads of gunfights. He gets into a knife fight. He even got to say some bee puns. He's basically like John Wick, minus the sophistication of Keanu Reeves.

The Beekeeper is formulaic, but it works in a way since the people involved in it kind of accepted its silliness. While I'm not sure if this movie fits in the "so bad that it's good" tier, I believe it comes pretty close.

2.5/5

Next Goal Wins: Movie Review

Taika Waititi must’ve found something humorous about the determination of the Football Federation of American Samoa. Even when they disgustingly lost 31-0 to Australia and never scored a goal in the next 10 years, they still played the game.

It’s not a secret that a lot of people think the American Samoa national football team stinks. Even their own players think they stink. Well, it is all because no one really ever taught them the game of football properly. So maybe, with a new coach, they’ll get to play the game the right way and hopefully end their scoring drought.

It is bad enough that they cannot win even if their lives depend on it, but somehow it got a lot worse when the alcoholic Thomas Rongen (Michael Fassbender) got assigned to be their head coach. He coached national teams before but got such a bad reputation in games for his anger issues that the U.S. Soccer Federation President, Alex Magnussen (Will Arnett), and his ex-wife, Gail (Elisabeth Moss), had to expel him to American Samoa.

But Thomas is so wrapped up in his own mad world that he fails to connect with his new team. He disrespected their traditions. He disrespected their laws. He disrespected their team captain, Jaiyah Saelua (Kaimana). Despite the best efforts of the manager of the American Samoa team, Tavita Taumua (Oscar Kightley), they can’t seem to get along with him.

But over the next few weeks, Thomas could no longer ignore the perseverance of such a losing squad to play the game. They’re not competitive. They’re not fit. Yet, they show up for practice and work multiple jobs to keep the team alive.

Thomas eventually feels that the team needs him, and they’re not really asking him that much. All they want is for him to help them score a goal. Not to win. But to score a single goal.

The Killer: Movie Review

The Killer (Michael Fassbender) is the definition of a cold-blooded killer. His secret to his effectiveness and forbearance in the trade of contract killing is to have a set of credos: Stick to your plan. Anticipate; don't improvise. Trust no one. Never yield an advantage. Fight only the battle you're paid to fight. Forbid empathy.

On top of these rules, contract killing requires the utmost patience. The wait for the perfect timing to strike is long and physically taxing. Hence, one must always practice keeping himself calm. The Killer does yoga; he keeps a heart rate monitor watch and an iPod full of The Smiths songs to make sure that he’s focused on the tasks at hand.

But despite his meticulous mental and physical preparation, The Killer failed a mission given to him by his handler, Hodge (Charles Parnell). His client is obviously unhappy about it. So Hodge instructed a group of assassins (Tilda Swinton and Sala Baker) to dispatch The Killer and his girlfriend (Sophie Charlotte) to tie up loose ends.

Five Nights at Freddy's: Movie Review

Emma Tammi's long-awaited movie based on a popular video game series is a plot-heavy snoozefest about facing your biggest regret and becoming an adult.

Mike Schmidt (Josh Hutcherson) was a security guard in a quiet shopping center.

‘Was’ because he was fired shortly after for assaulting a man in front of his child after he mistook him for a kidnapper. A normal person would choose to confront rather than attack a person suspected of being an abductor or a criminal for many reasons. But Mike is livid.

A long time ago, someone kidnapped Mike's younger brother during a family picnic. He's been obsessed with this memory ever since. He’s so obsessed that he can lucidly dream about it and investigate it and talk to the five children who saw it.

Unemployment and past trauma are not his only problems; Mike also has to deal with his sleazy aunt (Mary Stuart Masterson). She has been hounding him for years to relinquish guardianship of his younger sister, Abby (Piper Rubio). Mike knows that she only wants Abby’s monthly support money, and she's just waiting for him to mess up so she can have her. So he tries his best not to mess up.

With his stacking insubordination cases, he’s left with virtually no other choice but to accept a job as a night-shift security guard for a dilapidated and abandoned pizzeria from career counselor Steve Raglan (Matthew Lillard). The pay isn't great, and the hours are worse, but all he has to do is keep trespassers away.

Unbeknownst to Mike, though, the place is not entirely abandoned. The dingy animatronics of the restaurant spring to life at night, and despite their cute and friendly appearance, they are extremely hostile to humans.

Enola Holmes 2: Movie Review

After helping the young Viscount Tewkesbury (Louis Partridge) inherit his father's land and titles and become a progressive reformer, Enola Holmes (Millie Bobby Brown) opens her own agency to be a detective in her own right. However, she still does not have the kind of respect that her brother Sherlock (Henry Cavill) has. People still belittle her skills and capabilities, until a penniless little matchstick girl finally enlists her help. Her name is Bessie (Serrana Su-Ling Bliss), and she’s looking for Sarah (Hannah Dodd), her sister, who seems to have disappeared without a trace.

The game is afoot.

Enola starts her investigation in a match factory run by business moguls Henry Lyon (David Westhead) and Charles McIntyre (Tim McMullan). She found out that Sarah had discovered something in the workshop, forcing her to hide from the authorities headed by Superintendent Grail (David Thewlis). Whatever it is, it’s huge.

Soon enough, Enola begins to uncover more vexing mysteries behind Sarah’s disappearance. Her snooping around and finding clues got the attention of Sarah’s friend and co-worker, Mae (Abbie Hern). Much to her displeasure for her determination and taking the job, Mae threatened Enola to let go of the case. But the young detective can smell that something is already burning and that it’s getting bigger. She must figure it all out before they capture Sarah and before it’s too late. To do that though, she will need some help from the great Sherlock Holmes.

John Wick: A Review

After his wife died of a terminal illness, John Wick (Keanu Reeves) retired from assassination and moved to an isolated home. Wick received a beagle dog named Daisy a few days after her death as a farewell gift from her wife. They lived in harmony together. This peace, however, was disrupted one night by a group of Russian gangsters led by Iosef Tarasov (Alfie Allen). They beat up John Wick, stole his 1969 Ford Mustang Boss 429 and murdered his dog.

Horrified and upset by this, John Wick is forced to come back to ask for the payment from what was taken. It turns out he’s not just an ordinary assassin; he’s the most terrifying person in the world. The so-called Baba Yaga

Midsommar: Movie Review

A supposedly friendly retreat ends in heartbreak... And death.

Dani Ardor (Florence Pugh) goes to Sweden with her long-distance boyfriend Christian Hughes (Jack Reynor) and his friends to see a midsummer celebration that only happens once every 90 years. 

However, as they spend more time with the commune, they realize that everything is not as it seems.

The Witch: Movie Review

There's a witch in the family.

When William (Ralph Ineson) and his family got banished from the Puritan Plymouth Colony because of disputes over beliefs, they were forced to settle on a farm near the woods. Little do they know that they'll encounter forces of evil in that place that will tear their family apart.

It all started when baby Samuel abruptly disappeared while playing peekaboo with his sister, Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy). They all think that it was a witch that abducted him, but they don't really know for sure. The problems didn't stop there. Winter is coming, and they don't have enough food to survive the harsh weather. William and Katherine's (Kate Dickie) other son, Caleb (Harvey Scrimshaw), also got lost in the wood, and their prized Silver Cup disappeared.

Are these God's punishments for them? Or is there something malevolent in the woods that's haunting them?

Joker: Movie Review

Madness has a face.

Struggling comedian Arthur Fleck (Joaquin Phoenix) just wants to experience joy and give joy, but Gotham just doesn't give a damn about what he wants. 

So Arthur finds himself slowly going crazy in a society run by powerful moguls, opportunistic rich people, and a system always siding with the wealthy.

Coach Carter: Movie Review

Basketball isn't all about winning. It's about discipline and togetherness.

Ken Carter (Samuel L. Jackson) is a man on a mission to turn a wild, rude, and terrible Richmond High Basketball Team into a champion team, inside and outside the court.

But it will not be easy. Carter's team is failing their class. On top of that, members of the team are embroiled in different issues, such as Timo Cruz (Rick Gonzalez), who deals drugs for his cousin, and Kenyon Stone (Rob Brown), who struggles to come to terms with his girlfriend being pregnant.

Not to mention that Carter's son, Damian (Robert Ri'chard), wants to join his team.

Carter must now make a hard decision to improve the lives of his team and his son without losing all of the respect he established.